"Ego" as defined by thefreedictionary.com:
Ego is the self of an individual person. The self, especially as distinct from the world and other selves.
Ego is one's concept of onself.
Is Ego necessarily a bad thing ?
Ego is not necessarily a bad thing. Infact, it is in a way necessary for one's survival. In other words, for humans to exist and flourish- it is necessary to have sense of self i.e. one's Ego.
However an inflated ego is a bad thing, even detrimental to yourself and relationships you may have. An inflated ego is when you believe the world revolves around you.
As i observed in one of the Online forums -
"Ego can be either good or bad. If you have an ego, than you must control it and not let it control you. You must have enough ego to have self confidence and to get noticed, but not to the point where people roll their eyes when you enter a room.
Everyone considered as sane has a sense of oneself which is considered their ego."
Having an ego is akin to breathing. If you are a human being you will have an ego, whether one likes this statement or not. It helps one create a Self image and hence is a reflection of self confidence as well.
So, having Ego is not a bad thing at all. The problem usually begins when your Ego inflates and overtakes you.
Types of Ego:
Healthy Ego
A healthy ego is one where good self-esteem reigns.
What this means is that there are little to no insecurities about one's real feelings of worth so there would be little reactivity when the outside world challenges one. A healthy ego does not have to negatively react, defend, justify, rationalize, fight, manipulate or hide from challenges because it is convinced that whatever is going on outside will not change who one is and what one stands for.
Unhealthy Ego
Conversely, an unhealthy ego is one where low self-esteem reigns. There are continual feelings of discomfort/shame with oneself and no real trust in oneself or one's abilities.
Someone feeling this way will boost, defend, justify, rationalize, fight, manipulate, hide from challenges, be arrogant and react in volatile ways because a chord of fear has been struck: "What if the outside world finds out what I'm really like?"
The person with the unhealthy ego typically hears negative self-talk which is unsupportive and frightening since it gets its source of information from what one truly feels about themselves. They can also feel exaggerated ideas about themselves, such as grandiose ideas about how wonderful and exceptional they are to the point of being conceited and arrogant and can also believe that they are beyond reproach, responsibility or consequences.
Most personas with unhealthy egos are difficult to get to know or have intimacy issues because of their fear of really being found out. Their self-loathing has superseded their feelings of self-love.
Unhealthy ego can manifest in several ways. I have defined a few of them courtesy the book Word Power Made Easy
- Egoist:
An Egoist's attitude towards life is simple and direct. Every decision such person makes is based on the answer to one question- "What's in it for me ?" He has this selfish, greedy and rutheless desire for self-advancement and if that hurts anyone, so be it.
- Egotist:
An Egotist has all the traits that define an Egoist but with a big mouth. An Egotist is boastful to an extent of being obnoxious.
- Egocentric:
Egocenteric is an extreme form of Egoist. He considers himself center of the universe.
- Egomaniac:
Egomaniac carry egoism to such an extreme that his needs, desires and interests have become an morbid obsession, a mania.
Can handwriting determine "Healthy" ego ?
Going by the definition, the personality characteristics that define "Healthy" ego are-
- Reasonable Ego Strength:
In Handwriting, it is represented by Capitals that are approximately twice the middle zone.
- Good Self esteem:
Self-esteem is the total value one gives to self. The National Association for Self-Esteem defines self-esteem as "The experience of being capable of meeting life's challenges and being worthy of happiness." People with healthy egos give just enough importance to self and dont exaggerate the same.
In Handwriting, Self esteem is represented by positioning of "t" horizontal bar in the "t" stem. The higher the horizontal bar on the stem, the greater the self esteem.
- Pride:
People with Healthy Egos exhibit Pride in their positive achievements.
In Handwriting, Pride is seen in letters "t" or "d" wherein the stem of these letters is around twice more than the middle zone.
- Lack of defensiveness in behavior:
People with Healthy Egos do not generally tend to be defensive and reactive to other's thoughts towards themselves. They exhibit certain contentment.
In Handwriting, to my knowledge there is no one trait that shows Lack of defensiveness. I think well balanced and retraced "t" bar with horizontal bar perfectly balanced and stem retraced is one indicator. I will cover this more in my forthcoming posts.
Can Handwriting determine "Unhealthy" ego ?
Going by the definition, the personality characteristics that define "Unhealthy" ego are-
- Inflated Ego Strength:
In Handwriting, it is represented by Capitals that are approximately four to five times the middle zone.
- Low self esteem:
People with Unhealthy ego do not put right value to themselves, their efforts.
In Handwriting, Low self esteem is represented by "t" horizontal bar being placed very low i.e. in lower part of middle zone.
- Vanity:
People with Unhealthy Ego exhibit Excessive Pride in themselves,which in a sense is a false pride.
In Handwriting, Vanity is exhibited in "t" and "d" stems being four, five or even more times taller than the middle zone.
- Sensitive to Criticism:
People with Unhealthy ego are vulnerable to other people criticising their ideas and thoughts. By being sensitive they form a sort of false defense mechanism.
In handwriting, Sensitive to Criticism can be judged by loops in "t" and "d" stems.
- Self Deceit:
A person with Unhealthy ego may tend to deceive himself of the real facts. He may live in make-beleive world, where he can chose to ignore facts no matter how convincing they would be, just to satisfy his ego and false sense of self.
In handwriting, the Self Deceit is generally shown by letter "o" with a loop on the left hand side.
- Domineering:
People with unhealthy ego are generally unpleasant and may tend to be assertive in forcing his views and authority on others, being domineering.
In handwriting, Domineering tendencies are seen in letter "t" with horizontal bar slanting downwards and with sharp ends (indicating sarcasm with dominance).
Note:
If you are wondering how to figure out "Egoist", "Egotisi", "Egocentric" and "Egomaniac" personality from the above traits, consider this-
- An "Egoist" will generally have some or all of above traits of Unhealthy ego.
- An "Egotist", in addition to above traits will be more talkative (In handwriting, "o", a" loops will have an opening).
- An "Egocenteric" person, in additional to all above traits will be talkative and argumentative (In handwriting, shown by break-away "p") i.e. he might use unnecessary arguments to prove his Ego centeredness.
- An "Egomaniac" person, in addition to being Egocenteric might be emotionally unstable and unpredictable (shown by variable slant handwriting).
References:
http://www.tamingyourego.com/
http://www.ecosalon.com/7_essentials_for_understanding_ego_the_good_the_bad_and_the_ugly/
http://anujmagazine.blogspot.com/2007/11/high-self-esteem-essential-skill-for.html
Image Source: http://www.everydaypeoplecartoons.com/cartoons/261.png
